Overcoming the pain of disappointment: 7 Helpful Tips
February 19, 2019
“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire and how you handle disappointment along the way.” Robert Kiyosaki
Disappointment is never fun, whether you’re dealing with a relationship that didn’t work out or you’ve missed out on a major opportunity to advance your career. It is an inevitable part of life and everyone encounters disappointment. Coping with disappointment is important for our success, personal growth and happiness; for we will never be completely able to avoid disappointments in life but we can certainly choose how we react to it. No matter the type of disappointment you encounter, it’s almost never as bad as it seems, and developing strategies on how to cope with it will determine how quickly you will get past it and move on with your life.
What does it mean to be disappointed?
To feel disappointed is to feel let down and somewhat defeated. In other words, an unfulfilled expectation is one of the major reasons why we feel disappointed. when you hope for a thing to turn out in your favour but unfortunately, things didn’t entirely go your way is what brings about feelings of disappointment. The WordWeb English dictionary defines disappointment as “feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized.” That is to say, our expectations often times is what brings about the feeling of disappointment.
What are you disappointed about?
Have you defended someone for so long thinking they are different and they turn out to be just like everyone said? have you been too attached to a thing or someone that you expected so much from them and they turn out to shatter your expectations? or have you been heart-broken by a trusted friend or partner and now you are feeling used? well, this is just the reality of the world we live in.
Dwelling on disappointment keeps you stuck and how you respond to disappointment will not only affect your current situation but will also foretell how you’re likely to approach future occurrences.
Are you willing to let go and move on with your life or are you going to remain in that depressed state of mind? well, if you ask me I will say it’s time to get up and face it! and these tips will guide you
Let your feelings out; it’s natural that you feel unhappy.
Anyhow you choose to view it; I believe letting out your emotions is far more soothing and healthier than suppressing them. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is going on inside you and don’t try to ignore the fact that you are pained. In fact, doctors say that dealing with a disappointment such as been denied of a major life opportunity is not different from dealing with grief. However, avoid venting or lashing out on others around you because that will not solve the problem but compound the issue.
Put your problem in perspective.
Try to put that disappointment or issue into perspective by asking yourself some personal questions like, will this matter a week, a month or one year from now? These techniques often time will bring you back to reality. For instance, you have an injury and cannot finish out the season with your teammate, which no doubt is unfortunate, but you certainly will be better next season.
Our interpretation of what happens is in many ways more important than what actually happens. With that in mind, whenever we feel or experience disappointment, we need to try and look at the bright side of things or look for something positive to hold on to. The more we can learn to frame our mind in a way that’s constructive and positive while still being honest with yourself, the better we are able to process disappointment.
Reflect on what you can learn from your situation
There’s always something we can learn from any happenings in our life. How and what you can do better is the question you should be asking yourself. If you don’t fall down, for instance, you’ll never learn to get up and its part of the whole learning experience if you ask me. Some may refer to it as “experience is the best teacher”. You didn’t do well in that promotional exam but fortunately, there are many programs, books and other resources available to do better next time plus an added advantage to know what to expect next time. Instead of dwelling on that mistake, failure or disappointment ensure that you have done everything in your power to move ahead. Maybe you’re thinking the world isn’t fair to you right now but the truth is nothing is going to last forever, that problem is not permanent and so is that disappointment, things will definitely change for the better.
Adjust your expectations
Often at times we get disappointed because we expect too much from people and life in general. The expectation is what brings about most disappointment we face; we put our trust and expectation on people or things but then things fail to turn out just the way we’ve expected it to be. It is not wrong to be expectant but then life has its own tricks and people most times aren’t always reliable as we think them to be. I personally think it is safer to have an open mindset towards things rather than having high hopes but then get disappointed at the end. The truth is, rarely does anyone ever achieve genuine success without encountering disappointment. Ask anyone who has ever succeeded in anything how they got to where they are. I bet you they have experienced their own share of disappointment but never gave up and today the story is different.
This is a very important accept of dealing with the pain of disappointment. You have to stop thinking the world or people are completely unfair and that whatever happens to you is completely unjust; even though in reality they are so what? These things happen and there’s nothing you can do about it neither can you change the situation. whatever happens to you is in your past, and you are in the present. If you want to have a better future, then you have to accept the past for what it is and however unpleasant it might have been. Some people have a tendency to see negative life events as a consequence of their personal shortcomings. You think you are not good enough simply because someone else was preferred over you. Practising acceptance isn’t as easy as it sounds and that is why it takes a lot of practice on your part to get to that point where thinking about that issue no longer leaves you feeling completely bitter and paralyze. Also, you have to know your worth, remind yourself all of the good qualities you have and keep improving and doing what you do best and in no time it will pay off.
Be open to new ideas; see disappointment as an opportunity to grow.
Do not get disappointed by just one mistake or one opportunity that you didn’t get, they are lessons to be learned in order to grow. Disappointment often signals a transition towards change, it only makes you stronger.
Don’t just shut down completely or shut your eyes from other opportunities simply because you feel disappointed in one area. A new opportunity perhaps can bring about that long-awaited breakthrough in your career or life and you never can know what the outcome will be if you are not open to new ideas. think about it, If success was gotten on a silver platter, then everyone would be successful by now and it wouldn’t worth the struggle.
You might be thinking that how can I be grateful at a time like this? – Instead of thinking about all of the things that went wrong or the things that didn’t work out start to think about all of the things “going right” in your life. Happiness doesn’t always come as a result of getting something we don’t have but rather recognizing and appreciating what we do have. You might be thinking about the things you don’t have and you haven’t had a moment to pause and reflect and be grateful for the things that you do have. Sure it’s frustrating that you did not get into your first choice of college…but you have an opportunity to go to college and not everyone has such. It’s sad that you did not get that job you interviewed for…but there are other opportunities waiting for you out there if you keep pushing and not give up. Life is full of ups and down and when life throws you to the ground, dust yourself up and rise up; you don’t have to remain on the floor.