Mindset | Self Improvement

How to deal with Rejection

“Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.” Unknown

Over the course of a lifetime everyone experiences rejection, repeatedly and it really doesn’t matter how smart, intelligent, funny or talented you are – everyone will experience rejection. The most important lesson that we need to remember is that rejection is part of life. In the early time, our risk of rejection used to be limited by the size of our immediate social circle and environment perhaps only. Today, with the advent of electronic communications and several social media platforms each one of us is connected to thousands of people at the same time and from different locations of the world, any of whom might ignore our posts, chats, or texts, and such can leave us with feelings of rejection. But then we are yet vulnerable to even more serious and devastating rejections as well.

For instance, the terrible feeling when we get fired from our jobs, the paralyzing pain when we get separated from that life long partner,  feelings we get when we get snubbed by our friends, or ostracized by our families, community or society for our lifestyle choices. Even though rejection is a universal human experience yet it is surprisingly painful. Some people will like you, some people won’t, and there’s very little you can do about it.

For instance; not every person we fall in love with will feel the same way about us; we don’t get every job we want or applied for.  Knowing that rejections can come in various forms the truth is, whether it is minor or severe, one thing remains unchanged — it always hurts and it usually hurts more than we expect it to but the question is, why?


Why does rejection feel so painful?

Getting all worked up when you don’t get picked in a team or after getting dumped or whatever form of rejection in any given case feels bad. This is what the scientist has to say about rejection pain. Scientist according to research says our brains are wired to feel pain after being rejected. Scientist says when people are placed on a functional MRI scanning machine and are asked to recall any recent rejection; they discovered something extraordinary, that the same area of our brain that triggers physical pain also triggers an intense emotional pain as a result of rejection.

Mind you, most of these pains are self-inflicted because rejection not only causes us some emotional pain but hurts our self-esteem, it can trigger sadness or depression such as getting angry over trivial issues, become moody or irritable and can cause some form of instability in our lives simply because we choose to dwell on that emotional pain longer than we should. It is not enough to say that rejection really hurts, but knowing how to limit the damage it can inflict to our psychological well-being such as our emotions, thinking and behaviour and learning how to rebuild your self-esteem will help one to recover fast with confidence.


How to deal with Rejection?

No matter the kind of rejection, whether love, career, social or anything else, is not something that should affect your happiness. No doubt rejection doesn’t feel great and can feel daunting sometimes but it shouldn’t determine your overall happiness in life.

Are you dealing with rejection now that seems impossible to recover from? You can learn how to handle rejection in a way that makes you stronger and happier by applying this few tips amongst several others.

1. Remind yourself that rejection is common and accept the rejection early

The earlier you let go and accept that rejection, the easier and quicker the time you are going to heal from it. If you don’t get that job you were really hoping for, you might be upset initially but let go sooner and don’t dwell too long on it. It may be that you got dumped by your partner or that the work you thought you have spent hours working on and compiling didn’t get the approval. It is good to keep in mind always that when one thing doesn’t work out, something else usually will. Think of it this way – a more deserving job or someone deserving of you will come your way hopefully. After all, everyone experiences rejection repeatedly over the course of a lifetime.

2. Do not take rejection personally

Always have this in mind that being rejected says nothing about you as a person, is merely someone’s opinion. Getting rejected is part of life, not a personal attack. For whatever reason that partner suddenly isn’t interested in you, or your boss wasn’t interested in a particular thing or does not require your services at any time, know that rejection isn’t your fault per say – simply put, the other person perhaps was rejecting something particular maybe a request or a situation that didn’t work for them, and not you as a person. For instance; you are interested in someone and the person isn’t. Does it mean that you are worthless? Or that no one will ever be interested in you? Off course not! That person simply isn’t interested in your request or proposal hence, don’t make a big deal out of it. Respect that.

3. Distract yourself and do something else

You might probably need a little time to grieve or digest the issue but you need to get your mind off the rejection. You need a little space and time from it so try to engage in something different away from that rejection. You cannot let rejection bring your life to a complete halt because you are definitely going to have lots of it in your life just as everyone else. Do something exciting, try something new, do something you haven’t done before, read new books, make new friends, break new records, visit a new place, go see a movie, call that hilarious friend that will make you laugh, go for a karaoke, dance to ease away that tension, and most especial breath to stay alive lol! for it’s not the end of the world yet and the list goes on and on. By all means, distract and detach yourself from those feelings that come with rejection. By moving on with your life and doing other things, you aren’t letting rejection ruin your life.

In conclusion,

Remember that rejection no doubt can cause pain, but mostly these pains are self-inflicted. Thus, the best way to deal and overcome them is to do something about it now. Talk to a trusted family member, friend, colleague, or mentor – whatever. Just don’t remain in that self-pity and sad state getting all worked up. You are special, unique, loved and you matter to someone out there and me especially lol. Cheers!

My name is Juliet. I am a learner and I love to learn Just anything at that lol!


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