Mindset | Self Improvement

CHANGE IS PERSONAL, DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

“If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, take a look in the mirror.”  Roman Price.

 

It’s no longer news that as humans relocating to a new place, getting a divorce, beginning a new job, starting a new family, beginning or ending a relationship or the death of a loved one are perhaps the biggest changes we experience in life. Some of these events we have control over, and others we don’t. We can learn to view change as part of life or see it as stressful either way, change is inevitable to human existence. Think of Abraham Lincoln who is considered by many the greatest president in the history of the United State, he learned to expect difficulties, and so, was not traumatized and defeated when faced with problems but viewed them as part of the natural course of events. It’s our interpretation of any experience in our life that determines our perception. When you can’t change your circumstances, change yourself.  We are each faced with a set of experience in life, and these experiences are neutral, they have no meaning as they were. Hence, it is how we interpret the experiences that give them meaning.

The harder one works to sustain a positive interpretation, the more one appreciates life. Lincoln did not choose his experiences of failure, rejection; disappointments, betrayals and, defeat, but he did choose how to respond. He realized that he was not reacting to an event but to how he interpreted the event. Hence, the earlier we realized we are not reacting to events and the happenings around us but to how we interpret it, the better. For those events that were not up to him, it was his own attitude that determined their influence on him. When he was no longer able to change a situation, he changed himself.

There have been many times when I wanted to change the past when I wanted some things in my life to happen just the way I expected but you know that’s impossible. And there were other times when I just sat at my comfort zone, planned but did nothing about my plans believing that things will fall in place well, speaking from experience that also did not happen and to tell you the truth, there is nothing frustrating as that. When you find yourself at that crossroad where nothing you do seems to be working or when you realized that the things you once loved, now feels boring to you, that simply is an indication that somethings are long overdue and needs for a change and another word for a change I would say is motion. Dreams do come true but will only be a mere fantasy when nothing is done to make it a reality.

 

“You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what is going on within you.” Zig Ziglar

Just like Newton’s first law of motion state “Every object will remain in its state of rest or of uniform motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an external force.” See yourself as that external force that acts on your dream to change the motion from where it is now to where you want it to be and see your dream as that object that needs to be acted upon hence when you do nothing about that dream expect nothing to happen. When you don’t take a step to make that desired change that you want in your life, career, business, or relationship, nothing will change on its own accord but will remain in its state of rest where you left it.  As the old adage goes: “The only consistent thing in life is change.”  The good news is that you can make that happen and only you have the power to make that change.

 

“I can affect change by transforming the only thing that I ever had control over in the first place and that is myself.” Deepak Chopra

The future is a journey and change is a part of all journeys, it is the one constant thing in life. Circumstances constantly shift, events happens with or without our consent, demanding that we continue to adapt. Know that there is no one way in dealing with change that will fit all circumstances or all people, so the more you know about the various methods of helping yourself to change,  the better you understand yourself, the more you will be able to change in the way you desire. Change is inevitable and can sometimes be stressful, but there are ways you can come out of it a better person. This Article provides you with 3 simple but effective conditions for handling change.

 

  1. UNDERSTAND THE PRESENT

The choice about change can only take place in the present, which means it is important above all to accept where you are now. Acknowledge the fact that things are changing. Sometimes we get so caught up fighting change than we actually do dealing with it and other times we try to ignore it expecting that it will work itself out. The ability to see clearly where you are now at the moment is the first step towards embracing change. A change presents us with the opportunity to grow; it can be negative or positive nevertheless, how you choose to deal with it is what matters. Not all stress is bad as it were. Realize that stress can also come from a good change.

Change can be stressful but not all changes are bad as they were. For example, when people go through a change in their lives, such as engaging in fitness exercise, graduating from college or having a baby which is seen as a good change, they still feel stressed out, isn’t it? This shows that even those positive changes in life also bring about the same stress as some awful ones. It is ok to feel stressed and it is normal too and so change. Some people when they undergo stress or pain that result from a change, they tend to hide under the influence of alcohol, food or drugs so as not to feel stressed or pained instead of learning to deal with this change. Mind you, stress is just a way our body reacts to a change. At first, it might not seem pleasant but as we learn to adjust by adapting to our new status it gradually becomes easy to deal with.

“Don’t try to get over stuff, get through it.” Jay Jetty.

Do not hide away from the present reality whatever it is, don’t try to get over things, get through it. Start today to plan those aspects or areas of your life you want to make changes. Change can only be made an effect in the present. Change begins from within before you can change anything around you or about you, it has to start from within, a decision only you can make.

“It’s not about time, it’s about choice. How are you spending your choices? Beverly Adamo

  1. LET GO OF THE PAST

 “If only things had been different.”, “I regret not taking that course.” It is understandable to feel overwhelmed sometimes or dismayed by the mistakes of the past which you do not have control over. Let go of what has happened because focusing on the past will not help you to move on with your life. See change as an opportunity to try something new, it might be worth the change who knows. Looking back at how your life used to be is of no use and a waste of time. Do not be burdened by the past it can no longer be changed so do not allow it to weigh you down and rob you of your present, instead do something about the present which happens to be stirring you at the face. Your past should serve as a lesson to learn from so you can make better decisions for the future. Do whatever works best for you because we all have different ways of getting through pain or dealing with situations.

                                                                                                                                                                                             

“It is of no use worrying about the things you cannot change, or the things you do not have control over.”

  1. ACCEPT THE UNCERTAINTY OF THE FUTURE

We can only take one path at a time and can never know what would have happened had we taken a different one. If you worry about all the changes happening around you, you lose your ability to enjoy the moment. The place we find ourselves in is determined by the past, but it tells us little about how things will turn out in the near future. The path that appears to seem rough at the time may provide unexpected rewards later on. So we have to accept the uncertainty of the future.

 

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. It’s more prudent to head off a disaster beforehand than to deal with it after it occurs.” Henry De Bracton.

 

No doubt we cannot see the future; the future is outside our control neither can you predict the future. Yet, we need to leave room for uncertainty by becoming proactive and preparing ourselves both mentally and physically on how we can handle those changes when it eventually comes instead of waiting until something happens before taking actions.

Having a prepared mindset that it is necessary for old things to go and new things to come helps you accept change. The entire history of the world and of humanity is defined by continual change, including evolution and development. It is a part of life and existence, and change often brings new opportunities—sometimes good ones!

You can benefit from trying out new directions, talking to someone who has been there before to learn how they were able to get through it. Seek support; no one gets through life alone hence, it’s ok to ask for help. You may be thinking that you want to make so many changes; expect that new patterns of life can take time to give yourself time. You do not know where to begin, just give yourself time and go slowly one day at a time.

Some life changes can happen overnight, but your adjustment period won’t. Major life changes require a “psychological metamorphosis” on your part. And like a butterfly, the transformation takes time. After adjusting to the new challenge, try to visualize the stages of your metamorphosis and imagine the end of the process. Do not try to do too much all at once, decide which change to make first and in what area of your life.

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