“Give yourself a break. Stop beating yourself up! Everyone makes mistakes, have setbacks and failures. You don’t come with a book on how to get it right all the time. You will fail sometimes, not because you planned to, but simply because you’re human. Failure is a part of creating a great life.” Les Brown
Tony Robert in one of his speeches has this to say, “Moment by moment our life is been controlled by our state of mind, and you are not going to go beyond the state of mind that you have created for yourself”. Also, it is the condition of your heart that determines the direction of your life. Fear of failure for many is the greatest obstacles on the path to success. The earlier we admit that failure is a part of life the better our understanding of getting up and rising up to the task. The truth is if you are not failing, then you are not innovating enough. Failing doesn’t make one defective or incompetence, it makes you human. Failure is just a temporal change in direction to set you straight for your next success and it is only a test of your commitment to succeed.
After having gone through over 9,000 failed attempts by trying to invent commercially-viable electric bulbs, Thomas Edison found out the right way and he simply stated “Why would I feel like a failure? And why would I ever give up? I now know definitely over 9,000 ways an electric light bulb will not work. Success is almost in my grasp.” Wow! Be honest how many times have you actually failed in your attempt to achieve your dreams? I think the problem is that we dwell too much on why we have failed instead of channelling our energy in the right direction and searching for ways to improve and become better.
Nelson Mandela puts it this way, “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
The problem is not in us failing but in giving up after we’ve failed an attempt. We don’t get through stuff by avoiding it; we get through it by confronting our fears.
Albert Hubbard puts it this way, “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fearing you would make one.” you can choose to remain in that failed state or you can decide to rise up and take charge of your life and there is no better time than now. These tips will guide you if you ever felt lost or stranded in life.
1. Change the word “failure” into “mistake”
“Forget past mistakes and forget failures. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it.” William J. Durant
One amazing thing about this world is that no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes and you are one of them. Hence, instead of calling yourself a failure, tell yourself you’ve only made a mistake. And making a mistake gives you a chance to improve. The word “mistake” sounds less permanent and harsh than “failure.” Looking at it this way may help you feel better about the situation. When you use the word “mistake” instead of failure, this can make you look for a learning opportunity. You can learn from what you did wrong and use it as a chance to get more information to do better next time.
No one was ever born been excellent at a particular field, take athletes, for instance, they practice tirelessly daily to master their craft or dancers for instance; they practice to master each step. And with practice, you can always better your best.
Today our society frowns at failure and that is so sad. The dictionary meaning of failure is “Lack of success”. And I believe the opposite of lack will mean “abundance”, so someone who lacks success today and practices well enough can have an abundance of success in no time. The society we live in today sees failure negatively and the educational system which is also part of our society attributes success to only having good grades. When it comes to professional life – success is only synonymous with promotions; the truth is our society needs to change its definition of failure. Failure does not make you less of yourself; you only get to learn a new way of doing it better next time. So how does that make you a failure?
2. Start From Where You Are
“Life isn’t always fair. Some people are born into better environments. Some people have better genetics. Some are in the right place at the right time. If you’re trying to change your life, all of this is irrelevant. All that matters is that you accept where you are, figure out where you want to be, and then do what you can, today and every day, to hold your head high and keep moving forward.” Lori Deschene
The question is not about failing but what are you doing about it? What are you doing to succeed? And the truth remains that, failure is needed for you to succeed, for if you are not failing how can you ever grow? Bobby Jones has this to say, “I have never learned anything from the tournament I won.” Success is great but we only get to learn from our failures. For me, there is no right or wrong way to start, there is no right or wrong part, everyone has their own unique journey hence, find yours.
A part that is right for one person might necessarily not be right for another person because we are all different and that is ok too. See failure as your road map to success for failure only occurs when you try to do something, failure does occur by doing nothing. So when you fail, it simply shows you are actually doing something to succeed. Procrastination is one of the enemies of success and a lot of people are not ready to get up from where they are but instead choose to keep giving excuses why they think it is never going to happen or perhaps they think it’s not the right time.
Please, when is the right time? And what is your definition of right time? See how Les Brown puts it, “It’s better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one, and have an opportunity and not be prepared. Don’t wait for the right time; let the right time meet you doing something. We have the power to change our past history and rewrite our future. And that time is now!
3. Focus on yourself & not on others
“Don’t underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. It’s our differences that make us unique and beautiful.” Robert Tew
When you see people become successful, what do you think in your mind? Do you compare, envy them or criticize their work? Well, here is what I do and think you should try to apply in your life. Know that you are capable of whatever it is they have achieved and that you are capable of even achieving more than they have. It all comes down to the mental consciousness that you have to build and leverage in your own mind in order to do something great. Carefully study and learn how they are doing what they do to succeed, who knows you might even spot out their errors and improve on it to become better.
Even though it seems the invention of electricity was attributed today to just one man, it might interest you to know that it was not just one person who discovered electricity. The concept of electricity was known for thousands of years, when it came for the time to develop it commercially and scientifically, there were several great minds working on the problem at the same time. Life is not about competition but about your contribution. When you fail, see what you can do differently to achieve success. Find your strength and what area you are good at then start to work on those areas you need to improve on. success is simply you creating your opportunity and concentrate more on improving yourself.
4. Revaluate yourself
“When you stop looking at what you have lost, you can better see what you have.” Karen Salmansohn
Everyone has things in their life they want to improve or achieve. However, we end up feeling like a failure when it does not happen; this is because we have taken our gaze from what is relevant to us but instead we get cut-up in the little details in our head and we get stuck. It’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate your life by putting things into perspective. Looking at the success of other people and nagging why things are not happening for you will only make you lose sight of the bigger picture.
Know what works best for you by taking inventory of yourself, want kind of person you want to become? What are those things you must leave behind in order to grow? What is that thing that is not working? What is it that you must do differently? You are the producer and scriptwriter of your life what would you write about yourself? Stop explaining your failures or the reasons why you have them. The truth is no one cares, everyone has a problem also and the only difference between you and them is that they are doing something about theirs.
5. Refuse to give up
“One small crack does not mean that you are broken, it means that you were put to the test and you didn’t fall apart.” Linda Poindexter
See failure as an event; therefore on your quest for success don’t you “give up”. To give up is not an option for you. Do not wait for anyone and start working on your skills today, use the resources at your disposal and begin that project and as you keep at it, the right material, resources, people or connection you think you need will come along. Whatever it is you want to do, visualize yourself doing it and successful at it then keep practising until you improve. Practice as it is commonly said does not make perfect because no one is perfect,we are all imperfectly perfect in the words of Les Brown but practice does make an improvement and I strongly agree with that. You can only better your best with time if you refuse to give up. The truth is everyone wants to be relevant and significant in some way but you can become relevant even in little things before the greater breakthrough come. Failure is just an opportunity to try again but this time in a more intelligent way.
“You could have grown cold, but you grew courageous instead. You could have given up, but you kept on going. You could have seen obstacles, but you called them adventures. You could have called them weeds, but instead, you called them wildflower. You could have died a caterpillar, but you fought on to be a butterfly. You could have denied yourself goodness, but instead, you chose to show yourself some self-love. You could have defined yourself by the dark days, but instead, through them, you realized your light.” S.C Laurie