5 Tips to Build Your Self-Confidence and Overcome Self-Doubt
April 23, 2019
“Most people live in a restricted circle of potential.” William James
Confidence is not an inherited trait but a skill that can be learned. Not everyone is born with a natural or an inbuilt sense of self-confidence. But the truth is being confident has the power to alter how the world perceives and treats you.
Sometimes it can be hard to develop confidence, due to low self-esteem or due to some personal experiences which have caused you to lose confidence in yourself but your level of self-confidence can influence your future. Spontaneously people recognize how much self-confidence you have and tend to respond to you accordingly.
Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people lack and struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful at what they do because they lack belief in themselves and second- guess anything they do.
When you are confident you inspire confidence in others such as your peers, your bosses, your spouse, your kids, customers, audience and friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which self-confident people find and achieve success. But the good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well worth the effort!
But what is confidence, anyway?
Confidence is simply the absence of doubt and the belief in self and one’s abilities but people often think of confidence as something that only certain people are born with. Confidence is mostly the outcome of our thoughts and the actions we take; it is not just based on your ability to succeed at a task but your belief in your ability to succeed. It is true of the saying that our belief directs our action and shapes our lives. For instance:
Your belief in your ability to start a new job and to succeed at it
Your belief in your ability to start a new vocation and to excel at it
Your belief to speak in front of an audience without being nervous and so on.
How Self-Confident Are You? Just anyone can be self-confident!
Self-confidence is an essential part of humanity as earlier stated and one vital way you can Improve Self-Confidence is by Building Self-Efficacy.
No doubt, confidence can wax and wane throughout our lives. But it is always boosted when we experience a win or receive appraisal and vice versa. No matter what your self-confidence level is right now, you can probably improve it. But you need to believe in yourself and your capabilities before anyone else will because building self-confidence is largely by choice.
A self-confidence person generally likes themselves, willing to take risks to achieve their personal and professional goals and think positively about themselves and the future whereas the reverse is the case of a person who lacks self-confidence. But the good news is that self-confidence is something you can improve! Building self-confidence requires you to cultivate a positive attitude about yourself and your social interactions, while also learning to deal with any negative emotions that arise by practising greater self-care. Meeting challenges can further improve your self-confidence, hence you should learn to set goals and take necessary risks as well.
The question now is – what are the tips needed to build confidence and overcome your challenges in order to achieve your goals?
Avoid trying to please everyone
A truly confident person does not feel the need to be accepted by everyone. This is different from ego because there is a thin line between being confident and being proud. Instead, be kind and polite and stand for what you believe in and don’t spend your time trying to be a pleaser. The level of confidence you exhibit is how people will relate or respond to you. Sometimes people don’t get to their full potential not because they lack the much-needed skills or ability but because of the lack of belief in themselves or you can say a low self-confidence.
Develop a sense of yourself – find out the things you are good at
Everyone has strengths and talents. What are yours? Recognizing what you’re good at, and trying to build on those things, will help you to build confidence in your own abilities.
Confident people believe in their uniqueness and that it is worthy of admiration. Everyone is good at something hence, discover the things at which you excel in the most, explore your interests, values, desires, wishes, inspirations and aspirations, style, strengths and more and focus on your talents. Discover your true personality; things about your life that create a sense of peace and happiness and embrace it.
It can be your sense of humour, your listening skills, and your sense of compassion or your ability to cope and strive under pressure. Dig deep; you’ll realize that you have plenty admirable qualities you never thought you had and these are things that make your personality great. Focus on them instead. Following your passion makes you feel unique and accomplished which can, in turn, help build your self-confidence.
Live in the present
Low self-confidence is connected to being stuck in the past or worrying about the future. Sometimes when you fail once, does not mean you can’t succeed again but when you allow that failure to hold you back it can prevent you from making further attempts. Challenge and let go of those negative thinking of the past and be more optimistic instead. One failed attempt does not make you a failure if you learn to let go of the past and live in the present. The present is where errors and mistakes are corrected not in the past.
Avoid Comparison – stay focused on you!
Too often we waste our time comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren’t. Everyone has their own unique strength and weaknesses. Gain some perspectives, accept your limitations instead and push through self-limiting beliefs, list your strengths and use it to your advantage. You don’t have to be perfect – just stay focus on your accomplishment because your success is not dependent on others but you.
You see something you like about another person and that you don’t have, work on yourself instead. You can become that or even exceed it – the world has enough space for everyone. Knowing, acknowledging and accepting your strengths and your weaknesses strengthen self-confidence.
Focus on what you want and not just anything
What you put your attention on amplifies in your reality. Focus on things that make you anxious, and you’ll become more anxious. Focus on things that inspire you, and you’ll feel more powerful. It doesn’t matter how skilled or successful you are unless your focus is properly directed, fear and self-doubt can creep in to attack your confidence or derail the effort and keep highly capable people from doing the very things needed to achieve whatever it is that they want
So instead of terrifying yourself by focusing on what you don’t want to happen, focus on the things you would love to see and make happen by taking deliberate actions towards it. Just as “Layne Beachley”, world champion surfer and author say: “Focus on what inspires you, not on what scares you.” Moreso, research has found that when we get anxious too often or put too much attention on things that make us anxious and fearful – that it can lead to a medical disorder.
Set goals and stick with it
Set some goals and set out the steps you need to take to achieve them. Just aim for some small achievements that you can easily accomplish and that can help you gain confidence in your ability to get stuff done.
Sticking with the goal is way harder than knowing it. You can only be able to step outside of your comfort zone every day if you have the courage not just to set a goal but to have the conviction to pursue after it at all cost until you achieve it.
Do away with negative thoughts
one synonymous attribute with successful people is that they always stay positive, no matter what happens in between their goal and themselves, they will still remain positive and pursue after it. You can only stay happy and positive; if you learn to do always the things that you love and build a sense of satisfaction around it and within yourself. So I write this blog articles and share to the world because I love to inspire and help others and in turn, I feel inspired and happy by doing so.
Be aware of your feelings per time, because there are times when you do feel negative, you feel down, or you feel defeated, but then the most important thing you can do is accept responsibility, acknowledge that those feelings have arisen as a result of your thought, and choose to do something different to alter your current state or circumstances”
The good news still remains that self-confidence can be learned, developed and mastered just like any other skill at any time, any day and even today!