3 Ways to Deal with Negative People with a Positive Mindset
May 28, 2019
“It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself.” – Abraham Lincoln
Negative people derive pleasure bringing others down. Life is full of people who despise and ridicule our effort. And some of which are people we do have a close relationship with at that.
Human happiness largely depends on the quality of relationships because we are chiefly social creatures. Because of our social nature, it can be extremely difficult to handle negative people who drain your mood with their negative behaviour and ways of life.
So what should you do when faced with a negative friend, family member, or colleague? At first you want to believe their negativity is just as a result of experiencing a bad day; after all, everyone has a bad day every now and then. Regardless, negativity can be contagious and if you’re dealing with any form of negativity on a regular basis, and you do not take action to protect your mindset, you may find your mood infected quickly and might be at risk of being drained emotionally.
Most people with negative attitude often times are people with a broken spirit who may be suffering from insecurities, rejections, betrayal, fear, loss, depression, disappointments, frustration, or low self-esteem. There is always a hidden motive behind every human action either good or bad – because that is where the true negativity lies.
Avoidance or hiding oneself as the case may be isn’t always the best option to deal with negativity or a negative person; hence what you should do instead is to disarm their negativity by shielding yourself from their antagonism using these three simple yet healthy strategies.
Recognize where it is coming from
The solution to any human problems per se lies in its root cause. You can’t fight what you don’t know about or solve the problem that you don’t know where the fault is coming from. Find out why or what is the reason behind the negativity or behind that negative person and why they keep getting under your skin. Perhaps it’s the uneasiness they feel from the loss of their job, rejection in a relationship, feelings of insecurity, disappointment from a loved one, intimidated by your presence or suffering from low self-esteem and the only way they know how to react best is to become bitter and resentful.
Care to know where the hate or resentment is coming from. Perhaps they need help and don’t know how to go about it or ask for it. Someone always badmouths you; as awful as it may seem; sometimes there is a reason they do and maybe at other times there isn’t. Find out why before you get upset and get rid of that fellow. It can be an issue of jealousy or perhaps they feel intimidated or pressured by your presence. The reason will always give you a clue on how to handle things.
You can make them see things differently – let them know they can feel comfortable around you and if they are willing and open to change, they will eventually do the right thing. This is definitely the first place to begin.
Explore the reasons for your strong emotional reactions
In order to better detach yourself from that negative person if you must, you should be aware of the reason for your strong reaction. Although it is sometimes healthy to detach from emotional pain when it is intense or overwhelming at that moment and also if it poses danger to you.
But avoiding a bad situation or a negative person is not always the ultimate solution in dealing with the issue because you will always encounter such people with negative behaviour as you go on in life – they are everywhere. Mastering how to deal with your emotions and being in absolute control of your feelings is far better and fulfilling and exactly what you need to do. We cannot always run from our fears and we don’t solve a problem by completely avoiding them.
Negative people no doubt wants to say things that make you agitated or that reminds you of some forgotten hurtful past just to see you get upset and gets you off-balance. But the truth is have you asked yourself why is it draining you so much? Sometimes you can get to understand yourself better by analyzing and finding out those feelings that get you uneasy inside.
Once you can identify what is causing you to feel in a particular way and deal with it, you’ll eventually feel a lot better and that energy draining person will no longer have a grip over you anymore. It’s the same as conquering a phobia for height and other phobias that have tormented us in the past.
Since you feel in a certain way, you can also choose to physically detach yourself from the situation that brought on you negative emotions rather than stay and continue to feel negative. Your negative emotions are not you and you are not your negative emotions.
Suppressing one’s emotion without finding the real reason behind what is making you feel the way you do is unhealthy. Suppressing negative emotions can cause depression, low self-esteem and in some extreme cases physical illnesses! Research has shown that a large number of illnesses have psychological reasons that are directly or indirectly related to stress.
In order to cope with difficult situations and healthily detach from strong emotions without suppressing it, pay attention to yourself and your own needs – finding the necessary techniques for successful emotional detachment.
The true practice of detachment requires being fully present and open to our experience of emotion. Learn to fix whatever went wrong if possible. Express your bad emotions if you can’t fix what went wrong but never suppress those bad emotions because it can have a very harmful effect on your well-being.
Learn to Love and value yourself
Life does not always go our way. People can be thoughtless or cruel. Things happen and words are said that makes us over-react sometimes, and perhaps the reasons are because they trigger old feelings from way back in the past.
When you love yourself there is hardly anything anyone can do or say to you or about you that will bring you down. It’s called self-worth. Self-worth in this context does not mean being arrogant or egotistical, it’s not about comparison or competition with the other individual – it is simply to accept you the way you are. It’s about knowing your values and boundaries and living by them; it’s about showing others how to treat you by showing them how you treat yourself. It is about been kind to yourself and knowing your worth.
Some people don’t value themselves well enough but instead, they allow others to place a value on their self-worth. You do not have to drive the best cars or wear the most expensive clothes to love and value yourself. Truth is people will not see you above how you see yourself – it is the value you place on yourself that will determine the value others will place on you. Remember that negative behaviour is a reflection of them – and not a reflection of who you are.
The world is full of negativity and negative people to begin with – who wants to drain your energy each time but the question is; would you allow words of others to frame your entire life? Or are you willing to improve on your self-worth?
We don’t get to choose what happens to us in life or how people will treat us; we only choose how we can react and deal with whatever feelings it brings along. Even people we value, love and respect can hurt us sometimes but you have to develop a strong positive mindset and value for yourself that no amount of negativity can penetrate. Though it may seem harder than it sounds it’s worth the effort.